- Today's suggested practice: Day 7 of this month's practice... (see below)
- On December 21 the topic for our open online co-ed group conversation is “the sacred womb.” My feminine cohost is Sarah Anderson. Please register at http://sacredbodies.ca/events
- My playlist while writing today's meditation: Handel, Messiah: For behold, darkness shall cover the earth https://music.apple.com/ca/album/messiah-hwv-56-no-10-for-behold-darkness-shall-cover/1452142723?i=1452142917
- My morning practice: 6:30am: 30 minutes of yogic practice, including Meditation for Trust
- My vulnerability practice: Breathing deeply I allow this silence to deepen, to become sacred beyond my imagining, remembering that she brings me everything, and tenderly…
Hans Peter Meyer
Learn to trust yourself
Just for this moment, and the next: Forget all that you think you know, all that you think you need. Forget, and let your Goddess —She who *must* be ravished with your fullest attentions— let Her bring you everything, and all of it unimaginable, beyond your “wildest dreams.” Tune in to the feeling of your desire… Surrender. She undoes you. She gives you everything. She gives you this life. This breath. This moment. A miracle. Unimaginable.
Feel the yearning, the desire, for everything to be as I want it.
It is the morning after remembering the Montreal Massacre, where 33 years ago 14 women were murdered for the sin of being engineering students. The rage of a man who would not allow women to be safe, alive in their desire. A murderous rage.
I hear this rage in so many places. Spoken in code words. Not against women, heaven forbid. But certainly against those women who are not satisfied to serve men who haven’t merited trust. Certainly against women who might feel anger, their own rage against a systemic denial of who they are, who they yearn to be. The code word is often “feminism.” Somehow, to stand up for herself is the most threatening thing some men experience in their lives, so threatening they will kill. Violence against women is the only category of violence that is growing in Canada.
I want this to change. This is my yearning. My desire. My wish.
Please, men, let us be more than this fear.
Our desire, our desire as men, is always something that our bodies and minds feel intensely needs to be resolved. Achieved. Extinguished. Paradoxically, in pursuing this desire we experience the never-enough. Never enough success. Never enough money. Never enough sex. Never enough submission. Whatever our desire, in the pursuit of achieving we set ourselves up to want more. Always more. And are frustrated. Even angry that achieving is not enough. For so many of us. For most of our lives.
Feminine desire is something to be enjoyed, to relax into. Cultivated. Teased. Plumbed for all of its juicy pleasures and sensations —even that which feels, at first, to be painful. As long as these sensations move, change, take us deeper simply feeling desire is enough to a thousand and one days and nights of experience, of being alive, never-ending, never-resolved.
As a masculine-identified man I’ve been invited to this endless feast of desire many times. And been unable to appreciate it, to know it for what it is, as many times. My incapacity to sit with the discomfort of unresolved, unrequited desire …. to not know my own feminine capacity to nurture and be nourished by Her endlessness, either as pleasure or as compliant, not understanding that it is, for Her, all of it the ecstasy of experiencing the textures and mysteries of this moment.
How much I have missed.
And, realizing this, I must ask myself, as I ask you, dear reader, to ask yourself: What am I missing now, in this moment? How am I continuing this habit of not-allowing myself to feel the sharp edges of my yearning?
This is Her Siren Song: the call to feel the sharp edge of my desire as that which opens me to the sweet ache of love, of being loved. It undoes me. It is meant to undo me. Because unless I am undone to know this ache in it’s sweet and painful pleasure I will lash out and harm those who sing me to my doom. I will be too scared to hear beyond the doom-song, too scared to know the dark light of my redemption.
And still I question myself: Am I strong enough to be undone by this desire? Am I courageous enough to let this sharp yearning eviscerate me, allow my heart to feel everything, unafraid?
Or must I sacrifice others to protect myself?
🌀You are not like that now. (My beloved, my Oracle & Siren)
TODAY'S SUGGESTED PRACTICE
Day 7 of this month's practice, take 6 minutes today to sit and listen to “The Longing”…
Please read through first, then ...
• Today, sit (or stand) in stillness as you listen and chant, or simply listen to this song, let this question stir within you…. What do you desire? Can you let yourself feel this tenderness, even if only for a few moments? Hold it safe? Nourish it, trusting that in this ache you are revealed, born again into your deeper self?
• Begin by closing your eyes and aligning your body into its truest, most elegant posture, tucking your chin to lift your heart, tilting your pelvis to straighten your spine. Become still, more still than you've ever been. Your alignment is the physical training for trustworthiness. Bring your hands to your heart, right (masculine) over left (feminine).
• Focus on feeling the vibration. That is all.
• Set your timer for 6 minutes or listen to “The Longing” by M Path here:
• As the timer signals or the song ends allow your eyes to slowly open. Take three, relaxed breath cycles, no pressing, no effort, and feel yourself full, without thoughts, open. Safe to receive. Then, step into your day, letting the mantra echo as a nourishing vibration whenever you become still. You don't need to DO anything. Let the world come to you with its demands, its complaints, and yes, its endless tide of gifts and blessings.✨