- Today's suggested practice: 30 minutes.... (see below)
- My playlist while writing today's meditation: Beyonce, Crazy in Love (remix)
- My morning practice: 45 minutes: Short warm-up followed by Sat kriya, with (again) Linking to the Infinite pranayama and mantra later in the forest...
- My vulnerability practice: Allowing myself to feel this flow, allowing it to take me, show me, nourish me...
—Hans Peter Meyer
I feel into her need. I feel into her pain. I feel into her endless restlessness, the always-changing of her tides. I feel into her, and allow all of her "too much" to feel good.
And so I ended my day.
"Tell me if I'm crazy," she said, wanting me to both assure her by telling her that that she is indeed crazy, and to explain to her how her crazy is not crazy. And, that I hold her "crazy" safe, in esteem.
I know you need to go, I told her, looking into her left eye, always her left eye. Speaking slowly. Allowing my words to be formed not by my thoughts but by the energy and the fascia of my heart, my tongue and my mouth giving them the shape of this moment. I know you need to go, I said. And now I am disappointed, a shade of the "sad" you were looking for, that you choose to extend your away.
"Well, I will be back." Emphatic. Back to me, here, to this strange moment that is becoming ours. I feel her curiosity and her heart's appreciation for this moment. Me too...
And, in the meantime, I tend my garden. I will complete my tiny cottage in this garden for my precious solitude, perhaps what matters most these days. I need this solitude to feel myself, and to feel you. To fell this tender flow of what passes between us. Too subtle for any words, for anything but the compassion and self-awareness of solitude.
As I become more still, she reveals herself.
And so, with these thoughts and the though-less feelings moving beneath and through them, I begin my day.
🌀…Your consciousness journeys through millions of possibilities of life, all to gain sensitivity, a perspective and the acceptance of all life. There’s an authority that’s achieved at the end of this journey, an authority that allows you to track the history of your experiences and find inspiration. This authority comprehends the purpose of diversity and the connections in polarity...it provides true guidance in every moment.
This is the authority of compassion...the ability to experience the experience of another’s existence at the moment of their experience. (Guru Singh and Guruperkarma Kaur, Stand Under Others' Experience)
🌀Recognize that the other person is you. (Yogi Bhajan , Aquarian Sutra 1)
🌀 I'm always impressed by you. (My beloved, my Oracle)
TODAY'S SUGGESTED PRACTICE
30 minutes in solitude...
Please read through first, then ...
- Block off 30 minutes in your day where you will not be disturbed or distracted by others, your screens, your notifications —leave the ever-present "company" of your mobile devices etc in another room, your car, somewhere where you will not hear them, be tempted by them. No journal. No tasks. No meditation. No breath work. No napping. Nothing. Just you, with yourself, for an hour. Now, set the timer for an hour (if it's your phone put it on "airplane" mode so no calls or notifications can distract you).
- Walking, sitting, it doesn't matter. What matters is that for these moments you spend time with yourself. Noticing how good it feels, this silence. Noticing how awkward it feels, to not have your device or your journal or your tasks at hand.... Noticing how hard it is to give yourself the attention you need (we all need). How else to know ourselves? Allow yourself to look at the art on your walls, the garden outside your window, the forest coming into green. Then notice how your body feels noticing these things. Everything is always here for you, but mostly you take it for granted. Mostly, we take all of ourselves for granted. We push ourselves. We become lazy with ourselves. We do so many things except allow ourselves to feel who and how we are in this moment, and this moment, and this moment - and certainly not for 30 minutes. But today you do this and you notice yourself strong and stable enough to love yourself enough to be with yourself.
- When the timer signals, close your eyes. Stand still for three breath cycles, long and deep into your belly. Put your hands on your heart and bow to yourself. Relax your hands and step back into the whirl of your day and your distractions, with a smile on your face...