- Today's suggested practice: Ten minutes to sit with Her ... (see below)
- My playlist while writing today's meditation: Federico Aubele, Pena
- My morning practice: 30 minutes, warm-up, Sat kriya (Linking to the Infinite later in the woods...)
- My vulnerability practice: Let this wave take me; let these wings take her; trust this moment...
—Hans Peter Meyer
There are moments that defy my words. So many more, when I make the space for them. When I slow down and allow Her to move as She needs to move, beyond the categories and conceptions of my words, my thoughts...
Last night. Talking. Feeling my body, how tight I am. My heart is feeling it all, but I can't find the words. So I start to close.... I am beyond myself, and I am not comfortable here....
She asked me, sitting on the green couch across the coffee table from me... "Tell me more." More about love and what I am learning, imagining. Oh, so sweet to be asked! And, so much tingling in my body.
I answered haltingly. Slowly. Not wanting to rush through this moment. Wanting to taste every molecule of it.... and struggling. Searching for the words that usually come so easily. And then! Sensations in my forearms, my wrists —needing to shake them, flap them like wings, to let this concentration of energy (WTF?) move because to hold it inside is too painful. Something needs to fly, fly, fly away!
I sat up from the couch and looked across the table, fixed her eyes. Yes, I said, I want you to fly away to Montreal. But I also want you to fly back again.
Then I lay down again, breathing into my heart, my wrists. Feeling so good! So powerful!
Earlier in the day I walked a crooked path along a stream, a lumpy path that few walk. I found an opening in the forest. I sat on a log. I let myself open, feeling all of it. And I came close to tears. I also felt afraid, to feel so much. I allowed myself to sit and hold all of these feelings —the opening to Her and the flow inside of me, the flow all around me, and my fear of being swept away with it all. I held it all and was magic. Was the powerful presence that I know is mine, and is my gift to every moment I hold.
There is so much here in these days. Beyond my words. But I feel it, and the tears are always so close.
🌀...know that you won't ever fit in with most of what's around you; have the courage to be unique and outstanding -- the person of your destiny...quite odd, extremely sensitive, and unusually compassionate...the master that you are. (Guru Singh and Guruperkarma Kaur, Peace with Your Strength)
🌀...a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust.... ( Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet)
🌀You're not like that now. (My beloved, my Oracle)
TODAY'S SUGGESTED PRACTICE
Ten minutes to feel Her...
Please read through first, then ...
- Go into the forest. A meadow. A room with a view. A place where the world meets your eyes.
- Set a timer for 10 minutes...
- Sit with your eyes closed to start. Feel your feet and your sit bones heavy, held by gravity, the kiss of our mother earth holding us. Feel your spine and your heart lifted up into the heavens, drawn upwards into the light and bright and beautiful of awareness. Breath gently into this beautiful body of yours, feeling yourself in alignment, even if only for a moment, with all that is below, above, and around. No need to do anything, think anything. Only and gently hold this posture, this breath. Feel it.
- Slowly open your eyes and allow them to see, as if for the first time, what is in front of you. Colours. Movement. Stillness. Details.
- Breathing gently, your posture held firm but not stiff, allow your eyes to take everything in as if drinking from a fountain that is constant, and constantly changing. Your stillness is the "masculine" container of awareness you bring to this "feminine" moment of always-changing, always-nourishing. Allow it to change. Allow it to flow into your awareness and to nourish you, beyond any words or thoughts. Just feel it. Keep breathing, gently.
- As the timer signals, slowly bring your awareness back to the heaviness of your feet and your sit bones, the lightness of your spine and heart. Perhaps you feel how huge your heart is, able to hold everything. Say a short prayer to your heart for being so powerful. Include your arms and legs and belly. Include your eyes and ears and tongue and your skin —all the ways you drink from Her fountain of nourishment. Now, step back into your world, knowing that in every breath you are nourished by energies beyond words.