- ***You’re invited to leave an audio or text messages on What’s App. I’ll answer your questions anonymously as part of a weekly podcast. https://wa.me/message/VZE4F6QVABE3L1
- Today's suggested practice: Day 4 of this month's practice... (see below)
- My playlist while writing today's meditation: Toru Takemitsu, And then I knew ’twas wind https://music.apple.com/ca/album/and-then-i-knew-twas-wind/1579113100?i=1579113102
- My morning practice: 5am for 75 minutes of physical, yogic, and Meditation for Authentic Self-Expression (day 11/40)
- My vulnerability practice: There’s a lot going on. I feel tempted to “do it all.” Instead, I am siting with it. All of it. Feeling it. The force of nature…
Hans Peter Meyer
VIDEOLet’s talk about polarities…
The feminine will not abide my distraction, my words, my thoughtless thoughts. My Siren. My Chinnamasta. She loosens me from the dry prison house of my mind, and I am freed to know Her dark underworld.
“Use your head!” A basic, masculine instruction. When that is hammered into us from our early years, explicitly or implicitly in all of our formative messaging, small wonder our beautiful gift of consciousness is transformed into a way of knowing that is disembodied. Disconnected from the earth. From our own bodies. From our hearts.
Intuition. That unreasonable knowing that cannot be known by the mind. At least not the head-brain I think of when I think of my mind, when I think of intuition. Something else. Something in my body. I begin to experience this thing, this intuition, when I become still. More still and more attuned to myself than I imagine possible. Attuned. Aligned. In my polarity.
They are co-joined. Intertwined. Woven through each other: polarity, intuition. All of it becoming my deepest essence as a man. Then all the striving and grabbing and taking that does so much damage to the world, and to myself, is nothing. Instead, I attract what is mine.
In the Authentic Relationships training polarity is a key principle. It’s also the basis for the training with John Wineland, and his teacher, David Deida.
Yesterday, in a coaching session, I watched a man polarize during a short guided meditation. Beautiful to witness. In minutes, and even over a Zoom connection, his body a million miles away, I could feel it: the transition from a lesser-than masculine energy into a much-more-than-imagined masculine energy. Aligned. Attuned with himself. And, simply holding his posture, breathing.
He is a man like me. He’d allowed himself to grow into this less-than-himself. Now, tested by his feminine partner in the way that matters so much to us as masculine-identified men (ie. her disinterest in being sexually available), tested he was looking for a way to be himself. I know that one. Intimately. In every “serious” relationship. In every relationship with a feminine identified woman, inevitably leading me to experience this “dead zone.”
The good news, I said to him. Is that you’re in the dead zone. The better news is that she hasn’t left you there. Now, to find himself.
Perhaps the most challenging moment in my practice was as frightening as the experiences of loss, rejection, dismissal I’ve felt in “the real thing,” life. And in that moment, in a New York weekend co-ed intensive, I heard John Wineland’s voice coaching me —coaching many of the 40 men with me who were feeling similar moments of fear, exhaustion, about-to-collapse as we faced the rejection, dismissal, disgust, whatever from the feminine partners we were practicing with. I heard his voice, his encouragement to not collapse in this most vulnerable moment, but to breathe. “Breathe,” he said. “Breathe and she will return.” And, yes, breathing into the posture I’d come to accept as my truest expression of myself, her dismissal and rejection and disgust blossomed into radiance.
What had happened? I had, in that moment of facing her deep feminine polarity —something very overwhelming for most of us as men— I had slipped from the integrity of my body into the dismal safety of my mind, my head-brain. Trying to figure things out. Fix this mess. Which got uglier as I stayed in my head. John’s invitation: to lose my head, to embody the man I am. To polarize into my masculine.
In this masculine polarity, I didn’t collapse. I didn’t try to fix. Instead, I attracted and evoked a deep feminine polarity in my practice partner. It felt like magic. And perhaps it is. Perhaps, that’s what magic is, discovering the power within myself to alter realities, without willing, without grabbling. Without striving. Simply tuning myself. Aligning myself. With breath. With posture.
In “authentic relationships,” in our most authentic engagement with others, whether as a lover or as a parent or as a leader in work and family, I allow the conditions for magic when I am in my polarity. When I trust this unreasonable knowing. From this place, everything becomes easier. More beautiful. More true. More radiant.
🌀 To establish your identity at the edge of space, in the middle of time, you must have a secure and courageous sense of purpose with higher guidance. This is the realm of your own 'polarity,' your 'polarity guide,' if you will. (Guru Singh & Guruperkarma Kaur)
🌀 ...he wants your energetic openness. Your sexual responsiveness —your moans, writhes, and orgasms— attract him out of his dry world of fear into the deep waters of heart-surrender. (David Deida, Finding God Through Sex)
🌀..Mere philosophy will not satisfy us. We cannot reach the goal by mere words alone. Without practice, nothing can be achieved. (Sri Swami Satchidananda, The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali)
🌀The Conscious Warrior practices the cultivation of wonder and awe. (John Wineland, Precept 7)
🌀You are beautiful. (My beloved, my Oracle)
TODAY'S SUGGESTED PRACTICE
Day 4 of this month's practice, take 11 minutes today to sit and listen to, or chant, the Mangala Charn mantra... This meditation (Aad Guray Nameh, Jugad Guray Nameh, Sat Guray Nameh, Siri Guru Devay Nameh) is a prayer for protection and projection from the heart. We extend our heart without fear. We draw into our heart, without fear.
Please read through first, then ...
• Today, sit (or stand) in stillness as you listen and chant to this mantra, let this question stir within you…. Am I breathing into my masculine depth? Am I breathing into my feminine depth? Or am I unsure, and struggling to know my polarity?
• Setup: your "setup" for this month's daily practice is how you "hold onto yourself" and receive...
• Begin by closing your eyes and aligning your body into its truest, most elegant posture, tucking your chin to lift your heart, tilting your pelvis to straighten your spine. Become still, more still than you've ever been. Your alignment is the physical training for trustworthiness. Bring your hands to your heart, right (masculine) over left (feminine).
• Focus on feeling the vibration. That is all.
• Set your timer for 11 minutes or listen to the mantra sung by Snatam Kaur here:
• As the timer signals or the mantra ends allow your eyes to slowly open. Take three, relaxed breath cycles, no pressing, no effort, and feel yourself full, without thoughts, open. Safe to receive. Then, step into your day, letting the mantra echo as a nourishing vibration whenever you become still. You don't need to DO anything. Let the world come to you with its demands, its complaints, and yes, its endless tide of gifts and blessings.✨
Ps. I’ve just launched the in-person Vancouver Island Co-ed polarities workshops. Comox Valley on Friday, November 11. The next Tofino Co-ed event is February 24-26, 2023. See “events” at SacredBodies.ca. If you’ve got questions, please set up a chat at SacredBodies.ca/chat