▶ Tonight on the live #MENSWORK show our fifth in this series, "I Don't Want to F*ck if I Can't Feel Your Love" 7pm Pacific time at https://bit.ly/MENSWORKLIVE7PM
▶ Tomorrow the live Yoga for the Sacred Masculine class at 4am Pacific time at https://is.gd/RA2EEK
- Today's suggested practice, three minutes to hold yourself and your neediness: See below ...
- My playlist while writing today's meditation: Miribai Ceiba, Humme Hum
- My morning practice: 1.5 hours, short warm-up, followed by Sudarshan Chakra kriya and a long Linking to the Infinite pranayama and mantra (we'll be doing a version of this in tomorrow's 4am class)
- My vulnerability practice: Feel this tender yearning masked as impatience and neediness, feel it and hold my heart open...
-Hans Peter Meyer
MY MEDITATION It was no accident yesterday, as I "put all the eggs in one basket," to feel vulnerable. To read that particular passage on marriage by Rilke. To be evaluated on my vocal qualities as a Wedding Celebrant, and feel so deeply my yearning as impatience, pain. To feel only rejection in her words. And then, to be asked this morning, "How did it go...not taking things personally?"
How did it go? Seriously? Here's how it went: I collapsed; I was impatient, wanting; I was needy. I resisted even the practices I know are so simple and so helpful when I feel myself standing in the way of myself.
Again, how did it go? Not so well. I haven't felt so uncomfortable for a long time.
I started the day at 3:30am with a mantra that reminds me to hold myself, to recognize myself in the other, in my beloved. To allow myself to be compassionate with myself. To remember that my other —my beloved — reveals to me the path I need to walk, that I may know myself.
This morning I received words on yearning that brought clarity to my impatience, my neediness —and my path. So much of my regret is tied to my impatience and my neediness. I can trust my beloved when she sees me and says, "You're not like that now."
Today I sit with this. I give myself time to be still in a busy day as I prepare for this evening's live show, tomorrow's morning class, tomorrow's noon presentation. No longer trying to resolve or fix or otherwise deny this beautiful yearning that still feels like pain. Only in this stillness, breathing into myself, holding onto myself, am I able to know this yearning as Her gift, my path to the man I love.
TODAY'S INSPIRATIONS 🌀How did it go yesterday, not taking things personally?......The practice of compassion means to let experience in, to feel all parts of yourself, to open yourself to others, then all the walls can drop. You recognize the other person is you. If you recognize the suffering in the other person, what need is left to attack? When you stay open the only response you long to give is LOVE! (Tim and Marieke, Kundalini Yoga School, Inner Peace sadhana, Day 9)
🌀You're not like that now. (My Oracle)
🌀Recognize that the other person is you. (Yogi Bhajan, Aquarian Sutra 1)
🌀....Yearning expands infinitelytoward Eternity.And expansion... growth..it hurts.
Which is why Yearning achesso intensely.
When we clencharound the ache of Yearning,the result is neediness.
Neediness perpetuates separation.
Grasping for groundwhere ground is groundlessis futile, depleting... (Nina Lombardo, @WayofDevotion on Instagram)
TODAY'S SUGGESTED PRACTICE Building on yesterday's practice to hold myself while I think on my dreams and how I am denying them:
- Sit or stand comfortably. Your body is loose. If standing, your knees are soft. Your shoulders are rolled back and your chest is lifted as you tuck your chin. Set a timer for three minutes. Now begin...
Close your eyes and, breathing gently through your nose into your belly, remember your desires, your wants, your neediness for purpose, success, love, money, family, whatever it is that you are impatient for. Allow yourself to feel your neediness.
- There will be a place in your body that is uncomfortable. The space between your shoulders. Your neck where it meets your skull. Your belly. Your thighs. There is some place in your body that is telling you about discomfort.
- Notice this. Don't think about it. Just breathe into it. Every breath in bathing that discomfort with the flow your attention, every breath out bathing it with the ebbing of your attention. Notice and breathe into that part of you that is not ready to boldly put all your eggs in this one basket.
- Allow your hands, if possible, to hold this part of yourself as you breathe into it. Just hold and breathe. This part of you needs only your attention in this moment.
- When these three minutes are over continue to sit, or stand, for a few minutes. Allow your attention and this practice to drift away, trusting that in some subtle way you have started a shift. Build on this by repeating again today at least once, preferably three times. Be patient. Allow your pain and your neediness to become joy.
Ps. In this practice you are, again, cultivating your awareness of your body as an oracle - building your intuitive capacity. If you would like help with this, and you have not already had a no-charge session with me, please feel free to book a no-charge 15-minute chat to help you get started.