- Today's suggested practice: Day 28 of this month's practice... (see below)
- My playlist while writing today's meditation: the disturbing noise of restaurant music… I am bothered and struggling to bring myself to this moment of writing, remembering the lessons of the past few hours, days…
- My morning practice: 3:30am: 75 minutes, physical , yogic practice, including Meditation for Trust
- My vulnerability practice: Remembering that there is nothing I need so much as to still myself, to open in the face of my neediness…
Hans Peter Meyer
Answering men’s questions: Is she the one? Is she the one when it’s so hard?
I am being reminded, again (there is so much “again” these days!), to slow down.
It is very dark. Very quiet. I will miss Her soft & subtle sighs, meant only for the ears of He Who Listens. I will miss these delights if I am pursuing…
I am so much more than that. But I don’t know the man I am until I slow myself, proceeding, plodding, step by step. Breath by breath.
Without effort. Love without effort. Just open, and receive. Open, and give. Breathe.
The effort is in opening against my habitual closing, habitual protection, habitual suspicion. The effort is trusting. And this is all about me. It has nothing to do with anyone I choose to open or close to.
…I am spending time with my two-year-old granddaughter. She teaches me about opening, about the habit of caution, the habit of opening again after hurt. I am so grateful for how my daughter and her husband raise this child. They raise me too.
Why do I have the courage to open against my habits? Why do I have the patience to stand, open, against my habits and against the teachings of this culture, and especially this culture of men. We are so afraid to stand with our hearts open through the inevitable hurting.
At this point in my life I know this: I have been called, chosen, and have often turned away from this choosing and this calling. Not now. It is never too late to open, to follow this calling to know love, intimately, deeply, powerfully enough that I am reduced and refined and reborn as the man I love.
This calling becomes stronger as I practice. It becomes more powerful the deeper this silence, this testing.
The slower I go, the more I feel myself. The slower I go, the more I feel Her, moving through me, moving around me. Always, limited only by my knowing, my unreasonable knowing. Aka: trust.
These days and weeks after the intensity of the retreat have been hard. I have been stumbling through a fog of disorientation and neediness. Yes, wanting so bad that I almost convince myself it is a “need,” to be held by her. But I have been held by her. I have heard her words of love, knowing what I do. Appreciating what I do. It isn’t she who needs to hold me; it’s me. Remembering, again, with difficulty, this most elemental of truths: I am alone and am always alone in the neediness and I alone can hold myself. Love myself. Know I am enough. Know that I am all that is needed. And, remembering that slowing down, feeling the air thick with the vibration of life and love, feeling that vibration holding me. Less effort. More awareness.
There is, Deida says, only opening, and closing. My default is to close. To protect myself. From? From the inevitable hurt of experience, the inevitable joy of experience, if I breathe and allow.
In my beautiful solitude She is always with me. When I, without effort, hold myself dearly, She moves and I am complete. For this breath…
🌀Having arrived at the final station, I decided to get off the already crowded train. Since then I have tried to proceed on foot. (Alfred Schnittke)
🌀Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world.All things break. And all things can be mended.Not with time, as they say, but with intention.So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally.The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you. (L.R. Knost)
🌀How can I work with you in this space and find a way for us to swing?’ (Wynton Marsalis)
🌀A mystic’s dynamic silence produces a powerful magnetic field that those around you can experience; it unifies the entire environment around key points of the unspoken wisdom, and nourishes everything and everyone within the field.
It becomes an even stronger experience for those who can appreciate it and not question the motive. This is, in fact, the value of being appreciative and being this way often.
After all, you never know when you'll bump into someone, or something, who’s in this mystic’s space -- one who effortlessly connects your dots and then connects you to them.…Our prayer is that you are around such mystics and mystical places often; that you enjoy the joy of deeply listening to their silence whenever you are, and that you practice getting your own point across with just the twinkle in your eyes...it’s a real eye opener.(Guru Singh & Guruperkarma Kaur)
🌀I see you doing it. (My beloved, my Oracle & Siren)
TODAY'S SUGGESTED PRACTICE
Day 28 of this month's practice, take 1 minute today to sit and listen to, or chant, the deep Aum (Om) mantra... The “universal sound”…
Please read through first, then ...
• Today, sit (or stand) in stillness as you listen and chant, or simply listen to this mantra, let this question stir within you…. Are you able to feel your neediness, and then be the one, the only one, who can hold you, love you? Breathe into that. You are enough, in this moment.
• Begin by closing your eyes and aligning your body into its truest, most elegant posture, tucking your chin to lift your heart, tilting your pelvis to straighten your spine. Become still, more still than you've ever been. Your alignment is the physical training for trustworthiness. Bring your hands to your heart, right (masculine) over left (feminine).
• Focus on feeling the vibration. That is all.
• Set your timer for 1 minutes or listen to the mantra sung by Sad Guru here: https://youtube.com/clip/UgkxyG7B0jR_kH8VHLIUixJH6bABoGRAFBKu (I recommend setting your timer for 11 minutes and having this on repeat).
• As the timer signals or the mantra ends allow your eyes to slowly open. Take three, relaxed breath cycles, no pressing, no effort, and feel yourself full, without thoughts, open. Safe to receive. Then, step into your day, letting the mantra echo as a nourishing vibration whenever you become still. You don't need to DO anything. Let the world come to you with its demands, its complaints, and yes, its endless tide of gifts and blessings.✨
Ps. You are so much more than a warrior… This path is the Path of the Sacred Masculine, the path of the husbandman. It is a path of nervous system training. I am looking for up to six men to walk this path with me in 2023, men who would lead and teach other men. Earlybird registration for men’s nervous system training (Path of the Sacred Masculine, Part I: Basic Six) is now open until December 15 at SacredBodies.ca/path1
Questions? Set up a short chat via sacredbodies.ca/chat