• Today's suggested practice: Day 2 of this month's practice... (see below)
• My playlist while writing today's meditation: Gluck, Melodie from Orfeo und Eurydice https://music.apple.com/ca/album/melodie-from-orfeo-ed-euridice-wq-30-arr-sgambati-for-piano/1494403289?i=1494403854
• My morning practice: 5am for 60 minutes of physical, yogic, and Meditation for Authentic Self-Expression (day 10/40)
• My vulnerability practice: I feel the tug of the drama. And stand on the shore, watching the whirlpool… become more still, allowing it to become beautiful. Not magnetic. Not threatening. A force of nature…
Hans Peter Meyer
I was going through one of the most difficult transitions, desperate enough to allow this heart to break open rather than continue as I had been. In a guided meditation my inner voice —speaking I somehow knew from some deep wisdom within— said these three words: “Relax. It’s OK.” And I did. And I began to know the man I am, began to feel myself in the flow of love… And to wonder, Is that all there is to it?
But wow. Yesterday. This past week. The invitations, the seductive invitations to play just a little too close to the dragon of these dramas…
One of the things I am most grateful for, today, is the way I am able to watch the dragons and —most of the time!— not get too close. To wait, and see how to ride that energy to somewhere unimaginable.
But mostly I just see a lot of sh*t going on. (That’s the technical term for when the dragon lures us close and then everything seems beyond us.) A lot of anger. A lot of fear. A lot of people fuelling others’ anger and fear, riding the dragon to some idea of power or righteousness or…
A friend teaches me about food, how it changes our chemistry, our energy. As I reflect on yesterday’s conversations I’m thinking about sugar and how messes with our guts, minds, and I would say, our hearts. A short-circuit. Maybe this drama I’m watching is the same: the dragon, like our craving for sugar, feasts on fear, self-righteousness, anger, becomes the centre. Not having learn to ride our dragons (this is what the Yoga for the Sacred Masculine is about, by the way), not having learned to hold space for the feminine when She is needing to move, to destroy, obliterate, we collapse. Or, become consumed by our own feminine desire to rage, consume, annihilate.
Sometimes the world seems to be too real. Or: sometimes the world’s idea of the real becomes too heavy.
Three conversations. Three instances of the world weighing on beautiful hearts, pressing them into painful shapes. The one, a tender call for my heart to hold her, safe from the world. Another, asking for a reality check: Is it me, or is it the world? The third, an emissary of the world, unwilling to see or feel into the love that flows in another’s life, unwilling to accept their unreasonable happiness. And, afraid of their own feminine.
That was the hardest to bear. That one. A masculine resistance to the flow of the feminine, in themselves, in others. A stubborn refusal to surrender their pain, their dear & lifelong companion. So persistent. Hammering at perceived delusion, afraid perhaps that their own pain, so heavy, might be dissolved if they stopped believing in the holiness of their burden of sadness.
I’ve had my suffering. My disappointments. My losses. My pain. Not as bad as many. Worse than some.
I am grateful that, even when I was most numbing myself, I retained an interest in understanding love, knew —before I knew I’d signed up for an apprenticeship— knew that my heart and the poetry of life were truer for me than most of what I was being given by this culture. And even by trusted friends. Do I owe this vestigial tenderness to the never-questioned love my parents poured into me? Was their love the lifeline that allowed me to find my dragon in the darkness, and find a way to ride this dragon, instead of collapsing into fear, anger, nastiness?
How else did I know that as well as the weight of the world there is the light —& lightness!— of the world?
Three conversations. So much pain. The fourth conversation? One of gratitude.
I find myself in solitude. “Oh, look at you! Mr. Social Butterfly,” she said when I told her I’d had three conversations. Well, I said, One at a time.
It is in my solitude that I find myself, and the world, in Her disheveled & sometimes unhappy vulnerability. I take Her into my arms, and we dance a slow tango into the radiance She yearns to express. Not the weight of disappointments & anger. Or, not just this weight, but so much more. The “so much more” that is only known when I allow myself to feel into, with unreasonable knowing, Her endless gift of love. “Relax. It’s OK.”
🌀This afternoon I was taking a little siesta on the couch and while I was in a semi-sleep, deeply relaxed, I had a deep realisation. We are here to express love! That is the reason we are here. The more we are in touch with ourselves, our true essence, the more natural it becomes to let your love flow, to feel connected, to express yourself, to express love. (Tim & Marieke, Creativity sadhana, Day 10)
🌀The Conscious Warrior honours and protects the feminine, both in himself, in women and children, and in the world. (John Wineland, Precept 8)
🌀You are beautiful. (My beloved, my Oracle)
TODAY'S SUGGESTED PRACTICE
Day 2 of this month's practice, take 11 minutes today to sit and listen to, or chant, the Mangala Charn mantra... This meditation (Aad Guray Nameh, Jugad Guray Nameh, Sat Guray Nameh, Siri Guru Devay Nameh) is a prayer for protection and projection from the heart. We extend our heart without fear. We draw into our heart, without fear.
Please read through first, then ...
• Today, sit (or stand) in stillness as you listen and chant to this mantra, let this question stir within you…. Where are you closed to surrender? Where do you resist the falling apart that will allow you to fall together again, knowing love?
• Setup: your "setup" for this month's daily practice is how you "hold onto yourself" and receive...
• Begin by closing your eyes and aligning your body into its truest, most elegant posture, tucking your chin to lift your heart, tilting your pelvis to straighten your spine. Become still, more still than you've ever been. Your alignment is the physical training for trustworthiness. Bring your hands to your heart, right (masculine) over left (feminine).
• Focus on feeling the vibration. That is all.
• Set your timer for 11 minutes or listen to the mantra sung by Snatam Kaur here:
• As the timer signals or the mantra ends allow your eyes to slowly open. Take three, relaxed breath cycles, no pressing, no effort, and feel yourself full, without thoughts, open. Safe to receive. Then, step into your day, letting the mantra echo as a nourishing vibration whenever you become still. You don't need to DO anything. Let the world come to you with its demands, its complaints, and yes, its endless tide of gifts and blessings.✨
Ps. I’ve just launched the in-person Vancouver Island Co-ed polarities workshops. Tofino on Friday, October 21. Comox Valley on Friday, November 11. See “events” at SacredBodies.ca. If you’ve got questions, please set up a chat at SacredBodies.ca/chat