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- Today’s questions: Where in this body do I feel confusion today? How does this feel? Can I let myself simply feel this confusion, and not try to resolve it?
- Today's suggested practice: Day 14 of this month's practice, to notice where I stand.
- My practice: 5:30am: 30 minutes of yogic practice and purification meditation
- My vulnerability practice: Allowing myself to sit with the confusion, the undecided, the empty space that invites me to lead, to show my heart, grounded and ready to be tested, always, and forever…
Hans Peter Meyer
Praise Her, from whom all blessings flow; Praise Her, all creatures here below, says this yogic doxology, recognizing that it is from the magic of Her loins that this moment and all experiences flood me with that which is delicious, painful, wonderful, terrifying, and most of all, confusing. And especially now, in this Spring-time, this season of the witches and goddesses and priestesses and all of that which dances and moves, drawing life up through themselves into my experiencing.
And to this I pray: this never-ending, always-changing river of Her flow.
And to this I bow: that She will always test me. That She will always probe where I am most tender, most resistant to being probed, tested: my patience. And in this season of confusion, it is my deep patience She yearns for, most of all.
…It is a “confusing season.” In our northern hemisphere the energy of blossoming & becoming hesitates on the threshold. Some moments things are warmed, & move fast. The next moment or day, a memory of winter or heartbreak brings a closing. And all of us are going through this, and some of us (me, por ejemplo) are confused, forgetful, impatient, etc
Perhaps others too.
…It is a “confusing season.” And perhaps especially so for those of us who are most profoundly identified as masculine. This standing on the threshold of the unimaginable, it proves us, even as it tests us again and again to be worthy of Her mysteries, Her treasures, Her nourishment.
…It is a “confusing season.” And perhaps especially so for those of us who are most profoundly identified as feminine, who feel the demand of this so often shallow world, that we are either this way, or that. Either here, or there. Either Winter. Or Spring. Either yielding, or closed. But to both, and always, and always more than both. To be a constant and constantly changing river that nourishes and destroys with Her floods… To be all of this and not worshipped, cherished, penetrated, held with ever-lasting and unchanging awareness… To be desired and rejected all in the same moment. This is the confusion I learn to hold & penetrate with my steadfast presence.
Give this slow season its due. Allow her, this woman I love, to experience her confusion —her moments of radiance, as well as her moments of abject despair— allow her to be all things, all ways.
Seen. Heard. Felt.
Today the wind blows through the garden. Buds are shut tight against this still chill air. Yesterday’s moments of warmth, gathered and enjoyed in sheltered places, are away. A memory. A portent… But only that: the soil is not yet ready to give up Her treasures…
It’s enough for me, right now. To sit and watch. To know that though it’s quiet in the garden I see, below the ground the business of Spring is alive.
So, slow down. Enjoy these moments —hours, days, weeks— when nothing much seems to be happening. Remembering this: the sleeping Goddess is not a dormant force; She only seems that way; and I know better.
I know better.
It’s one of the gifts of spending time with my youngest son, and with my granddaughter: relaxed into still patience I allow, and allowing I see and feel much more of who they are and how they are and how they enchant my life. Allowing so much more powerful than forcing.
It’s also the gift of students who insist on testing me with their whimsy and seeming lack of centre or ground: they teach me the wisdom of patient and persistent feeling into my own centre, my own ground. To know my own depth.
This is what the “masculine” needs from the “feminine,” as much as any radiance or beauty or love that we think we need: the testing. It is a proving that deepens us. Her testing proves that this mountain of stability has roots, that this vast and eternal awareness is truly empty, to receive all of Her. All of her, the woman who moves me.
This is the season of confusion. It is the invitation to be the man I love, the man She calls —this divine feminine energy of Springtime, Beltane— the man she needs, this woman I love, that she may feel all of herself as the flow that is required, in this & all moments. But in this moment of confusion most of all.
🌀 If Persephone, our Springtime Maiden turned Queen of the Underworld teaches us anything, it's to embrace the dualities be they tangible or emotional, timeless or seasonal. (Kristin Lisenby @eastendalchemy on Insta)
🌀 The Conscious Warrior practices the cultivation of wonder and awe. (John Wineland, Precept 7)
🌀…your human experience is a gift to be spent from the soul's perspective — the perspective of its true nature...a drop of great water in the ocean of love. (Guru Singh und Guruperkarma Kaur)
🌀You are beautiful. (My beloved, my Oracle & Siren)
🌀Now, the practice of yoga begins. (Patanjali, Yoga Sutra 1.1)
TODAY'S SUGGESTED PRACTICE
Day 14 of this month's practice:
Please read through first, then ...
- Today, again, set three alarms randomly scattered through your day, but one before noon, one in the afternoon, and one in the evening.
- When the alarm sounds, wherever and however you are, stand still. Take a deep breath, and slowly, oh so slowly exhale. Feel into your usual tension places (ie. Belly, shoulders, top of chest, etc) and notice: Where in this body do I feel confusion today? How does this feel? Can I let myself simply feel this confusion, and not try to resolve it?
- Wherever you find yourself standing, let your breath be long and deep, longer and deeper (through your nostrils, deep into your belly, a little slower on each exhale) for three breaths. Just three breaths.
- Notice if your body-mind feels somehow changed.
- Continue with your day until the next alarm sounds, and repeat.
ps. Yoga for Lovers is an online (and IRL) series for lovers who want to deepen their connection, with themselves, with each other. Open to lovers of all sorts. The next six-week session starts May 6. Please register at sacredbodies.ca/events