- Today's suggested practice: Ten minutes ... (see below)
- My playlist while writing today's meditation: Ferenc Snétberger, I Saw My Lady Weep https://is.gd/Ul49uj
- My morning practice: 60 minutes, warm-up, followed by Sat kriya and Linking to the Infinite (see Practice to Open to the Infinitude of the Divine Feminine IV, soon to be posted to the podcast at
- My vulnerability practice: I allow myself to be stable enough that her tenderness opens me to this unknown moment....
—Hans Peter Meyer
I am listening to this morning's music, "I Saw My Lady Weep," and am without words.
I am alone. I am alone, yet held in the constant and always-changing flow of Her infinite love. So much love. My heart aches as I allow my awareness to hold it all. So much to hold. I allow my wanting and neediness to ebb, allow this wave upon restless wave of love to flood through me.... I am standing on the edge of an infinite ocean. I am standing in an infinite ocean. I am swimming in this infinite ocean...
All of my needs are satisfied. How did this happen? Not in any way that I imagined. Somehow other. Always, what I need. Always, here for me. Always...
Last night's conversation about finding my path as a man. There is only a crooked path. Straightened by her tears. A path to my heart that I have avoided most of my life. Every test a moment of choosing to open to my heart, but usually, typically, by default or design, to close and protect and defend myself from this vulnerability. And always, regret at the closing, not at the opening...
Her tears are the river through this regret. Not a washing away, but a deepening of myself. Her tears, always showing me my way, when I have the courage to swim in that river, the ocean fed by this river, these tears.
The legacy of our fathers: to deny the tears and their wisdom. The legacy of my father: insufficient wisdom of his heart, an insufficiency inherited from the generations and millennia of men who've feared the feminine, the river of tears, in themselves. This legacy a training in becoming brittle and protecting our hearts from the richness and the darkness and the mystery of Her gifts, so generously given in tears and laughter and the magic of witches and hags and goddesses and priestesses denied.
Now, I begin to taste these tears, their salty truth. To feel their wisdom holding me to who I may be, as a man. Who I may be as the artist of love. Beginning to know these tears and my art, to hold her with my heart, to hold her with my attention, to hold her and feel myself moved to be the man I cannot help but love, with all my tenderness, and all my strength, and all my regret, and all of everything that is now spilling out of me. To stand here and let it all spill, joining with her tears.
Today her tears teach me my art where once they frightened me. Today I follow her tears and find the path that leads me straight to my heart, and I am this strong that I can feel it all, hold it all, enjoy it all. Her tears...
🌀 The Conscious Warrior honours and protects the feminine, both in himself, in women and children, and in the world. (John Wineland, Precept 8)
🌀...a good marriage is one in which each partner appoints the other to be the guardian of his solitude, and thus they show each other the greatest possible trust.... ( Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet)
🌀I am always impressed by you. (My beloved, my Oracle)
TODAY'S SUGGESTED PRACTICE
Ten minutes to breathe into yourself ...
Please read through first, then ...
- Set a timer for ten minutes.
- As yesterday, you are standing, with your feet shoulder width apart, knees slightly bent. Your eyes today are 9/10s closed, looking down at your upper lip. Your arms hang by your sides. You are breathing gently, but deeply, into your belly.
- Drop a little into your knees. Not too far. You're here for 10 minutes. Be gentle with yourself at the same time as you are "testing" yourself. This is one way to walk the edge of your vulnerability and your strength.
- Breathing in for four counts, deep into your round belly. Holding that breath for four counts and pushing that energy down into your lower triangle - feel your breath as energy pushing into your genitals, down into your perineum, and then penetrating the earth below you as a root.
- Exhale for four counts, keeping this "root" deeply penetrating into the earth and, as a tree root, drawing nourishment, energy up through the tip of this root, drawing it up your spine, the back of your heart, up into the shoulders, up the back of your head, and out through your crown. Hold your breathe empty for the count of four and feel the top of your heart bright and light and connecting through your crown with the light of the stars above you.
- Repeat this cycle of four counts, penetrating deeper into the earth with every inhale; making a stronger connection with the light of the stars above with every empty exhale.
- When the count of four is easy and manageable, extend to a count of six, or eight, or ten. Don't push to hard with this. Find your edge of vulnerability and become strong there before extending the count. There is no competition. There is only the testing and the proving, of yourself, to yourself, for yourself.
- Settle into your knees a little deeper. Allow the root of you as a beautiful and powerful being to penetrate the earth a little deeper. Allow that bright top of this huge and capable heart to push up into the heavens above a little higher.
- As the timer signals relax your breath, your knees, your attention. Shaking your body gently, your legs and your shoulders and your pelvis and your heart. Feel how good your body feels, to relax. Now, with your body-mind newly tested and proven, take this moment of confidence into your day.