- 11am today: Open men’s conversation with men’s coach LeRoy Gordon about the “four archetypes” of men’s work: King, Warrior, Lover, Magician. Register at sacredbodies.ca/events (this will be posted to the podcast within the week if you miss the live conversation)
- Today's suggested practice: Sit for at least three minutes and allow Her to nourish you (see below)
- My playlist while writing today's meditation: Glass, Echorus https://music.apple.com/ca/album/echorus/1452610237?i=1452610246
- Practice: 4:45am: 90 minutes of yogic practice, including Meditation for Purifying the Elements
- My vulnerability practice: Recognizing my impatience as neediness, my wanting as the tenderness of “living with my skin ripped off,” and being grateful…
Hans Peter Meyer
Your “success” will not be your happiness
Every day, to feel this discomfort, this vulnerability in the face of the dark & silent ocean. Every day to be reminded: do not take her for granted; only love her.
And to let Her fill me with all that I need.
Once, during a period of intense tenderness to the world and all She brought me, I described the feeling as “living with my skin ripped off.” Painful. But the most alive to Her that I’d ever remembered being. I both wanted to never ever feel this tender again, and I wanted to always live in this tenderness.
Here I am.
On this, the eve of the anniversary of my expulsion from that so-difficult marriage, here I am. Wondering: Was there anything I could have done to recognize the lessons I needed to be learning there? Was there anything I could have done to help ease the suffering for this woman who was so deep in pain?
I was certainly being called to something deeper than I trusted myself to cope with. I tried. Yes, I tried. “Trying” being the operative word. Always one foot on shore. On this side of the threshold. Hedging my bets. Etcetera. A habit I carried into that relationship. A habit I took with me into subsequent marriages. Unfortunately, for her, for me, for the women after.
There is no safety in marriage. There is only the fire. Or, as one therapist puts it, “the crucible.” The heat —tension, pressure, friction— consumes and transforms us. To keep my one foot on the outside of commitment… None of the pain and glory of the crucible; only the suffering of endless tension, endless, pressure, endless friction…
I didn’t trust myself. I didn’t have the guidance then. But even with guidance, I didn’t trust myself.
Twenty-four years ago. So much since then. So many lessons. Resisting the crucible. Until now.
And today, this morning, in the dark hours of the Amrit Vela, remembering that feeling, of “living with my skin ripped off.” And how grateful I am.
🌀…don’t worry if you feel a bit down or blue… You are growing in awareness and shedding old skins like a snake to become more of who you are. Or let’s put it like this: you are returning to ‘the you’ without the habits that hold you back.
As yogis we use our meditation process to keep clearing our subconscious so that less negative thoughts can turn into feelings, emotions, desires and finally actions that keep us trapped. When you meditate and hold space for this negativity to clear while you are fully present, this breaks ‘the spell’. That is one important asset of your meditation practice but there is something else!
With your daily practice you do not only clean, but you also grow in awareness and you train your willpower. (KYS, Breaking Habits sadhana, Day 20)
🌀The Conscious Warrior is committed to developing strength of the mind, physical body, and nervous system through dedicated physical, yogic, and meditative practice. (John Wineland, Precept 6) You’re not like that now. (My beloved, my Oracle, my Siren)
TODAY'S SUGGESTED PRACTICE
Take at least three minutes today to sit and look out from yourself. You may be by a window looking into the winter of your street or your garden. You may be standing in the middle of the forest. Wherever you are, She is there, to nourish you. Allow this…
Please read through first, then ...
- Today, sit (or stand) in stillness as you listen to your heart, your belly, your sex, your root and let this question stir within you…. Where are you tender to the sensations of sight, sound, smell, touch, taste? Where are you most tender? Allow that tender place to experience these three minutes fully…
- Set your timer for at least three minutes (up to an hour, if you have the time and the strength to receive for that long!)… and receive…
- As the timer signals allow your eyes to close for a moment. Breathe with a relaxed breath for three cycles, no pressing, no effort, and feel yourself full, without thoughts, open. Safe to receive. Then, step into your day, letting the mantra echo as a nourishing vibration whenever you become still. You don't need to DO anything. Let the world come to you with its demands, its complaints, and yes, its endless tide of gifts and blessings.
***Yoga for Lovers, a new online and IRL offering for Valentine’s date nights, and beyond. FMI see sacredbodies.ca/events