I WONDER & AM IN AWE
Daily Meditation & Practice for the Sacred Masculine, April 12
- Today's suggested practice: Ten minutes to wonder... (see below)
- My playlist while writing today's meditation: Buxtehude, Wie schön leuchtet der Morgenstern
- My morning practice: 60 minutes, warm-up followed by Sat kriya, and Linking to the Infinite
- My vulnerability practice: It's cold, standing with my heart open, and still I stand, open...
- NOTE: Please join me for tomorrow's "open mic" on the topic of "Finding my way as a man." Your thoughts on your journey are important and welcome! Zoom opens at 6:55pm Pacific time
—Hans Peter Meyer
I am grateful that she is one of those who, paying attention to the vibrations of the world, allows her tears, and her laughter, to flow. I know it has sometimes been uncomfortable to be with her discomfort, her vulnerability held open without a safe space. But now, I know her vulnerability and susceptibility to this moment as the test that shows me my way. And I don't want her to change, knowing she is true just as she is, her tears the treasures I will do anything to protect.
I once wanted her to be happy, to be without tears. Now, I don’t her to be or do anything other than feel it all, and, as she is, allow me to hold this space. Her tears —and her laughter and her whimsical, always-changing nature— are everything.
It is winter in the midst of Spring, for a moment. I feel the chill of the weather. I feel the chill of this week, so quiet and so silent after the warmth of last week's budding promises.... The snow is falling in the garden and everything is slowed, again. Even slower. As am I. I imagine the orange-green tulip buds in front of me questioning their very presence. Too soon? Too much? Too vulnerable?
Opening or closing?
Spring will come. These flowers will blossom. So too, my beloved will find her warmth and begin to glow. So too, my heart. This chill a test, always the testing, because there is no moment where anything is done, anything is fully complete. Always the testing: is it safe to open? How safe is it to open? How far can I open?
I hold myself in this chill. I allow myself to become soft, to feel it all. I allow myself to be so beautifully powerful that I become big enough, spacious enough to hold all of you. I am the sun and full of the warmth that is required.
Fly away. Fly away, and know that I am here.
🌀The pancreas, the gland that is responsible for regulating your blood sugar level, is energetically connected to the third chakra which is related to themes such as will, power and strength but it also correlates with the second energy centre which is all about emotions & feelings, sexuality & sensuality and creativity. When we avoid feeling our emotions or suppress them, we harden up and it’s more difficult to allow space in our lives for softness and unconditional love, exactly those things that we all long for to experience in our lives. When we compensate this through eating sugary foods our blood sugar levels swings up and down, pushing our pancreas to work harder which on the long run can be harmful for your health. (Tim and Marieke, Kundalini Yoga School, Green Detox sadhana, Day 9)
🌀Right now, and in every now-moment, you are either closing or opening. You are either stressfully waiting for something - more money, security, affection - or you are living from your deep heart, opening as the entire moment, and giving what you most deeply desire to give, without waiting. (David Deida, Way of the Superior Man.
🌀The Conscious Warrior practices the cultivation of wonder and awe. (John Wineland, Precept 7)
🌀I am always impressed by you. (My beloved, my Oracle)
TODAY'S SUGGESTED PRACTICE
Ten minutes to wonder...
Please read through first, then ...
- Yesterday's practice was to feel the slow unfolding. Today the chill of winter is a good time to allow your body-mind to wonder, about it all, an to be in a state of wonder...
- Set a timer for ten minutes.
- Sitting, on a chair or on the floor, close your eyes and notice your breath. Don't change your breath. Just notice how your are breathing. And, however you are breathing, thank your body for breathing.
- Feel your feet and sit bones and how they are connected to the floor, the earth below. Again, don't change anything. Notice and thank your feet and your sit bones for giving you this foundation. Thank the gravity of the earth for holding you.
- Notice your pelvis. Notice your lower spine. This "lower triangle" is, from a yogic perspective, the seat of our purpose, but also the place where our body has stored the necessary (and unnecessary) trauma of early childhood, early adulthood. If you feel even a little discomfort here, imagine your breath gently bathing it, holding it. All of us have reasons to feel discomfort here in our bodies. Allow yourself to wonder that your body holds these pains, to protect you from being overwhelmed, to guide you into practices and ways of being to heal yourself.
- Breathe into your lower triangle and lift your spine gently up. Breathe gently into your heart and, tucking your chin, allow it to lift, to open. Again, give thanks to this powerful organ that moves so much blood and "information" around your body. Give thanks to your lungs for feeding your heart and your head brain and your lower triangle with the air they need to sustain your body-mind. Without thinking about it, allow yourself to be in a state of wonder and awe at how all of this is in motion, all of it still, all of it here for you, whoever "you" might be...
- As you breathe, allow the front of your body soften —from your perineum, your genitals, your belly and solar plexus and heart, through the top of your chest and your throat, softening even the front of your face—feel everything become soft and open, even warm. Wonder and give thanks to your capacity to hold space for every part of your softening body, to feel it all, to allow it to simply be open, receiving...
- As you breathe, feel the front of your face, your cheeks, and your eyes, feel your forehead, feel the crown of your head.... feel it and whisper a "thank you" to every part of you that you can feel.
- Feel your firm spine, from the base through the back of your heart, through your shoulders and back of your neck and up to the crown of your heard...feel it all with every breath and notice how you can hold all of you with this firm, not stiff, set of bones and muscles and energy... and whisper "thank you" to your wonderful body...
- Breathing gently, without effort, longer and deeper than when you started, without consciously changing your breath, simply bringing awareness —wonder and awe— to your body you've slowed yourself, brought more attention to yourself. Now, notice yourself sitting. See yourself sitting and breathing and simply being still. Notice and give thanks to yourself for being still and beautiful in this moment. Perhaps tears are welling in your heart. Whisper thanks for the tears. Perhaps you feel only silence and detachment. Again, whisper thanks. You are exactly as you need to be in this moment. There is nothing to strive for. There is no task, no responsibility. There is, in fact, nothing except your awareness of yourself, your breath, your body —all of it something wonderful to behold, to be with, to hold. Breathe, and be thankful, to the extent that you feel thankful, for your own body-mind and the magic that comes with every breath...
- As the timer signals bring your attention back to your sit bones, your feet. Gently, bring your hands together and feel them as they touch. Bring them to cover your eyes and hold them there for three cycles of breathing gently. Now, uncovering your eyes open them slowly and see the room or the world around you. Feel, perhaps, a moment of tenderness towards this space, towards yourself. Breathe, and step into your day.