- Note: It’s been a few weeks of “flooding” in my life. My plans swept aside by life’s demands. So here I am again, dear & faithful readers. Thank you for your patience.
- Today’s question: Am I receiving? Or am I still preparing, thinking this is enough?
- Today's suggested practice: Day 1 of this month's practice, inspired by my recent conversation with Shaun Cooke (you can find that, and other conversations and practices, on the podcast at sacredbodies.ca/podcast )
- My playlist while writing today's meditation: Silence, because I am listening…
- My practice: 4:30am: 60+ minutes of yogic practice, including Nabhi kriya.
- My vulnerability practice: Allowing myself to stand on this edge, open-hearted…
Hans Peter Meyer
The path is harder, always harder than I want it to be.
Of course, I want it easy. Always, easier.
Comfort is what I think I want. But, inevitably, not only is comfort unsatisfying; it proves to be my undoing, what takes me off my path.
And this path, what I’ve come to call the Path of the Sacred Masculine, this is what I’ve come to know is what I need.
I get distracted. Seeing what looks like the end, my goal, increases my impatience to be done with it, this “path” nonsense. In other words: thinking that I’m seeing the end in sight I distract from my practice, my preparation. I stop “holding the space.”
And WTF does *that* mean, “holding the space?”
There’s a beautiful essay by Connor Beaton on that topic. Well worth reading (here, check it out, and especially if you’re a man reading this: https://is.gd/4w7WSr ). But here’s the short form, for me, right now: Standing, with my heart open, and especially to the hardest things, which is, for me, almost always the waiting through heartbreak. The everyday moments of disappointments and regret and facing-reality, as well as the big moments of losing a fantasy of love, whether through the end of relationship or death or illness. This, I believe, is the “skill of heartbreak” that Stephen Jenkinson talks about. To know the discomfort —the virginal seeing and hearing and feeling into this new moment when al seems broken— and recognize it as Her greatest gift. Here, Her Siren song reveals itself not as a torment but as the necessary nourishment of the man or woman who would truly know themselves.
This is the gift we yearn for. The gift we are terrified of. The gift I dread, even as I become more of the man who can hold and welcome this space. My space.
She gives me everything, and all of it tenderly, when I am paying attention.
She gifts me nothing more than I need, and always-more, always-testing my experience of myself.
I spoke with Shaun Cooke recently. A men’s coach and group leader, and a man who’d recently gone through what we called his “year of change.” He gave me this, and it resonates with what I’ve been learning on my path, and what I’m teaching through the Path of the Sacred Masculine trainings: Too often we men think that going to men’s groups, doing practices, going to therapy, etc is “the work.” It’s not, Shaun said. This is all good and necessary. But it’s only preparation for the work. That work, he said, is the work of receiving.
This is all I am interested in doing now: preparing to receive, and receiving.
It’s all I want to teach: How to prepare; then, to receive.
Part of this preparation, and certainly the hardest part for me, is building the nervous system capacity to sit, to be patiently knowing. To let Her come, to allow Her to bless me, in Her own time. And in Her own way.
I lead, by following the follow (feminine).
I provide, by allowing Her to nourish me with provisions, by receiving.
I love, by allowing Her to love me.
I prepare by learning how to feel it all, to be still while I hold it all.
I am still, because my every movement towards Her closes Her.
There is only receiving, and the preparing to receive.
🌀Recognize that the other person is you. (Aquarian Sutra 1)
🌀The work isn’t going to men’s groups, or doing practices, or therapy. That’s important. But it’s just preparation for the work. The work is receiving. (paraphrasing Shaun Cooke from our recent podcast conversation at sacredbodies.ca/podcast)
🌀...no matter what you do, you don't feel comfortable. Being at this level of awareness is very risky...you’re set up for intense disapproval that cuts away at your confidence and disrupts the determination to actually live up to and fulfill your destiny. …(Guru Singh & Guruperkarma Kaur)
🌀 In healthy relationship, especially long-term, it's normal to resist your partner's gifts-whether in the form of their masculine guidance/direction/insight or their feminine wisdom/intuition.Sometimes you resist because you sense that what your parter is offering is not coming from Love, but rather from a need to control or get something for themselves.Trust this.Other times, you resist because you sense that what your partner is offering is exactly what you need to grow, and this can feel edgy as f*ck to soften into. (Nina Lombardo)
🌀You are beautiful. (My beloved, my Oracle, my Siren)
🌀Now, the practice of yoga begins. (Patanjali, Yoga Sutra 1.1)
TODAY'S SUGGESTED PRACTICE
Day 1 of this month's practice, from one of Shaun Cooke’s practices, offerred at the end of our podcast conversation:
Please read through first, then ...
- Today, set seven alarms randomly scattered through your day.
- When the alarm sounds, wherever and however you are, stand still, take a deep breath, check your usual tension places (ie. Belly, shoulders, top of chest, etc) and notice: Do I feel safe?
- If you are feeling tense or otherwise unsafe, breathe long and deep (through your nostrils, deep into your belly, a little slower on each exhale) for three breaths.
- Notice if the feeling has changed.
- Consider what you might do to feel safer.
- Continue with your day until the next alarm sounds, and repeat.
- At the end of the day, consider the notion of “safety.” Is it holding you back from something? It is helping you go through a difficult time or place? What can you do to feel more “safe,” even in challenging times and places? This is a way towards your own Path of the Sacred Masculine, your own capacity to hold safe and sacred space for yourself as life gives you tests and bridges to who you really are.
Note: These events are either no-charge or discounted for men and women in the Path of the Sacred Masculine or Sacred Marriage programs. Ask me about this if you’ve got questions.
- March 22: Live online conversation with trauma therapist, sexological worker, doula, and author (and one of my heroines) Kimberly Ann Johnson, at 11:30am. Register here.
- March 25: In person “Yoga for Lovers” and “Tango for Lovers” classes, on Vancouver Island.
- April 28: In person “Sacred Sexuality for Couples” workshop, Vancouver Island